So this is normal....

Things are different. The new job is nice; low-key and a totally new mindset, too. It's difficult to look at these patients and keep myself from thinking of ways to fix them. I love being able to single-handedly direct the majority of patients' care, though, and only consult the doctor once a week (unless I run into something strange). And being able to take the time to educate patients and families, or get things they really need just by making a phone call, feels great. I don't feel as rushed, and not nearly as jaded, but I have realized that my organizational skills could use some major improvement.

I'm drowning in paperwork! I never thought I would say this (ever), but I really think computerized charting could help here. My biggest fears, after these two weeks of orientation, revolve around this silly paperwork. I'm sure I'm going to forget to fill out some form, or run out of forms in the field and be an hour away from the office and not be able to fill out something important. Hence the multitude of binders and page protectors and folders and dividers that have been procured and planned for special spots in the trunk of my car. I'm sure one day I will long for an office job where I can put up handmade pictures from my child in my cubicle, and maybe even own a file cabinet or two. Until then, I'll just stick to my office on wheels.

All that aside, I really do enjoy the pace and scope of my newest venture. My husband and daughter seem to be glad to have me home for supper every evening, and I like going to bed at night and getting up in the morning. Strange, I know. I never thought I would have a "9 to 5" type job before I turned 40. It sure is nice that the good Lord watches out for me. And I have to laugh....I've only been gone two weeks, and already three people from the ER have called to say hi. Funny how you never know how integral a part of the team you are until you leave.

I keep praying for patience and guidance and wisdom, especially in this new position. It is so nice to have the time for introspection, not to mention compassion for other people who truly deserve it, and I don't want to waste this wonderful opportunity to grow. And to digress for a moment, I have to say thank you to my loving husband for taking time today to help me pick out fabric for my next sewing adventure. I'll have to let you all know how the skirt comes out, but if nothing else, the fabric is beautiful! And I was shocked on Wednesday to find out that one of the ladies at church would like me to make a birthday cake for her daughter's birthday next month, similar to the one I made back in November for Missions Conference. Who knew anybody else cared about my cakes?! What a nice surprise.

I hope that everyone is doing as well as we are. I do miss some of the camaraderie in the ER, and being able to turf patients that are a tad on the difficult side. I think one of the most poignant things I've learned in the past two weeks is that familes that were dysfunctional before terminal illness are going to continue to be dysfunctional after diagnosis, and there is nothing that we can do to fix it. So, we'll just form a care plan around it, and do the best we can to keep the patient comfortable. Pretty laissez-faire compared to the ER, but I bet I'll get used to it. :)