So even though I'm supposed to be enjoying the flexibility of a day off, coupled with the freedom to go to bed whenever I choose, I find myself at the whim of a second wind that descended in my house at about a quarter till 1 in the morning. Since I have nothing better to do, I think I will indulge my itchy fingers and wandering mind, and blog it up. (By the way, I love/hate that Comcast commercial where the caveman is ready to beat the little cave-beaver, and the cute little varmint says "I love you," and then the tag comes up that says "tough to beat." For some stupid reason, I want to save that poor little cave-beaver. I digress.)
Without any actual names mentioned, I will attempt to explain the latest frustrating/confusing/disturbing chain of events that has made me question my faith in humanity (yes, I wondered if I had any left too...evidentially a drop or two remained). Allow me to preface this rant with a little bit about myself, for those of you who don't know me. I am a flirt. An-across the board-don't mean anything by it-always ready with a witty banter-type flirt. However, I have to admit that the volume and frequency at which I indulge in such interactions has dramatically decreased since I got married, as it should. Also, the very distinct black and white line is right there for everyone to see, both through my frequent references to my loving/adoring/highly talented ex-cop of a husband, and the one thing that I thought was supposed to tell the world that I was off the market--my wedding ring.
Not long after I chuckled at my buddy Blissful Entropy's post on this topic, I experienced one of my own shake-my-head kind of moments. Keep in mind, my outward symbol of marriage is not a knuckle-dragging, deltoid-building ring but it's not easy to miss by any means. And this young fool that overstepped his bounds knows of my husband and his reputation in the security field (think Gumby tied into a pretzel shape and Pokey with Tazer leads in his ass).
Nevertheless, this dufus still felt the need--after numerous hints in the past which I let slide as meaningless flirting--to say to me a couple nights ago "hey, I'd like to take you out for a drink, if you don't think your husband will want to kill me." Well, sure honey. My husband has no problem with random guys taking me out for a drink. In fact, that's how we bring in a little extra cash now and then....it'll only cost you $20, unless you want more than a drink, and then the price goes up substantially. Oh, wait...that sounds more like a pimp than a husband...hmm, well maybe he would want to kill you. Dumb ass.
Now I understand how he might be confused. Off the top of my head, I know of three people in the ER who are currently being unfaithful in their marriages, and one couple (again in the ER) who participate in the confusing open marriage/swinger scenario. I guess I'm lucky that I have that built-in stop that makes it a NO-NO to step outside of my marriage. So maybe he's not at fault for thinking that would be an appropriate request. Maybe I just need to find another obvious sign to carry around to show the world that I'm married. I just can't figure out how to shrink my husband and stick him in my pocket.
Until then, all you faithful people out there--stand strong. Believe me, those people that are hitting on you will find a weaker person to bed, and you will be able to sleep at night. Unlike the one idiot coworker I talked to last night, considering cheating on her husband of 5 years with a guy who is deploying to Iraq in 3 days: "well, he's going to be leaving soon, so I might miss out on my chance." Yes, honey, you might. Keep that in mind.
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- A lost soul who knows what she should be doing, but who doesn't quite have the strength or willpower to get any of it done.
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4 comments:
It's shameful that this individual hasn't the respect to understand that there are people who believe in the sanctity of marriage and fidelity to their spouse.
If I could make it clear to this 'gentleman' I'd put it simply - ignore that little demon whispering in your ear otherwise i would suggest giving you soul to God because your ass will belong to me.
While it's likely true that born-again faithfuls are just as bad as born-again anything elses, I just wanted to shake my head with you. I fell into that seamy ER underworld once, and nearly lost myself in it as I struggled to find my way out of an unhealthy marriage. Luckily, a big bald teddy bear was there to pull me out of the muck and show me I'm worth loving, just the way I am. And now it's just sad to see so much of that go on, and know the emptiness of those who go looking... It's like The Nothing, from the Neverending Story, remember that? That emptiness just gets bigger and darker.
It's so nice not to feel it pulling at my ankles anymore.
I couldn't agree more. There was a time when I succumbed to the lure of that green grass on the other side of the fence, and believe me, I was no saint by any means. But now I understand how wonderful it is to know that I wake up next to one man every day, who loves being faithful to me just as much as I do to him. I guess the difference now is that there isn't anything anyone else could offer me that could hold a candle to what I have at home. I'm so happy that you have found a love that makes you whole, Erica. It's a beautiful thing. :)
You nailed it, really - it *is* the difference of knowing that what you have is enough in every way to keep you from wanting any more, and it *is* the love that makes you whole.
I've spent a lot of time over the past few years trying to convince myself I don't need anybody, I'm tough and independent and unaffected by silly dealings of the heart... and it's hooey. It's not the 'somebody' that made me whole, it's the love we share, and it is a beautiful thing.
And I'm so happy that you guys share the same and complement each other so wonderfully. (Loved the Gumby/Pokey visual, too!)
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